Blog 4: Saddle Up for Self-Discovery
What if the key to improving your relationships, building trust, and becoming a stronger leader… came with four legs and a mane?
Welcome back, friend. In our last blog, we talked about how horses teach us emotional regulation and reveal parts of ourselves we don’t always see. This time, we’re diving deeper into the real, soul-shifting growth that happens when you saddle up not just to ride, but to learn.
The truth is, the best horsemen in the world all say the same thing:
“The horse teaches you. If you’re willing to listen.”
And listening? That’s where transformation begins.
Ray, Tom, and Bill: The Horsemen Who Got It
Let’s start with a few words of wisdom from some legendary horsemen. These aren’t just catchy quotes, they’re roadmaps for life:
- Ray Hunt said, “You’re not working on the horse; you’re working on yourself.”
- Tom Dorrance believed in meeting the horse where they are, not where you want them to be.
- Bill Dorrance taught that the best thing you can learn from a horse is empathy.
And isn’t that what most of us want, really? To be better understood and to better understand others?
These men weren’t just talking about riding technique. They were talking about life, leadership, communication, patience, self-awareness, and yes, empathy. Horses didn’t just help them become better horsemen. They helped them become better humans.
Lessons from the Arena… That Apply Everywhere
You may be wondering: That’s great for trainers, but what does this have to do with me?
Let’s take a look:
Lesson 1: Make Yourself Understandable
Tom Dorrance emphasized the importance of adjusting yourself to meet the horse where they are. And guess what? The same goes for people.
Ever had a conversation where someone just wasn’t “getting it”? Maybe they weren’t stubborn. Maybe the way it was communicated didn’t meet them where they were. Horses show us that when we change our approach, we often get better results. That’s a lesson that translates beautifully to marriages, teams, and even parenting.
Lesson 2: Empathy is Everything
Bill Dorrance said you need to “feel what the horse feels and see what the horse sees.” What would happen if we brought that level of empathy into our human relationships?
Imagine the breakthroughs if we paused long enough to see why someone’s acting the way they are instead of just reacting to what they’re doing. Horses teach us to do just that—because when you start to understand their behavior, you stop judging it and start working with it.
Lesson 3: Clarity Over Chaos
In a herd, confusion is dangerous. It’s no different in life. If your energy is unclear, your horse won’t follow—and neither will your team, your family, or your friends.
Working with a horse forces you to get clear in your communication—not louder, not bossier, just clearer. A subtle shift in your stance, your breath, or your focus can change everything. That’s a powerful lesson for every area of your life.
The Real Work Isn’t on the Horse
Here’s the kicker: when you step into the arena, you might think the horse is the one being “worked.” But in truth, the real transformation is happening in you.
Horses mirror back what we project; no filter, no agenda. They don’t lie, and they don’t fake it. They just reflect. That’s what makes them such effective and humbling teachers.
It’s not about being “good with horses.” It’s about becoming more aware, more compassionate, more patient… and letting that spill into how you show up everywhere else.
Come for the Horses, Stay for the Growth
Whether you’re a leader looking to communicate better with your team, a parent hoping to reconnect with your child, or someone just trying to feel more grounded and confident, horses will meet you where you are and help you grow into who you’re becoming. It all starts with one thing: showing up with an open heart, ready to listen, learn, and lead with empathy.
Ready for What’s Next?
In our next post, we’re going to take a deeper look into the healing power of horses from war zones to therapy barns and how they’ve helped people find strength, resilience, and even joy again.
Until then, remember:
You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, you just need to be willing to listen and let a horse do the teaching.
Want to Experience This for Group or Team?
Join us for an Equine Assisted Learning session, where the lessons are personal, the environment is safe, and the teachers have four legs and a whole lot of heart. Contact Emily, Ride@horsepower.org